Tag Archives: Missoula

Chris, Kay and Carmen Karlberg, 1950's; Chris Karlberg 1973

Baby Charley 1954, Chris Karlberg 2024

For nearly sixty-four years, my mother kept a photo of her and a newborn in her cedar chest. “Baby Charley,” as he was called, had been rushed to a nearby hospital after he was found on the backseat of a car. My nurse mother received the baby boy.

When my mom downsized and moved into a senior living community in 2018, her cedar chest didn’t make the cut. The photo did. It was nestled in a drawer in her nightstand, where it remained until we moved Mom into memory care in January 2021. Since then, that creased photo from 1954 has held a special place on my dresser.

My mom died in March 2023. Last Mother’s Day, I wrote a blog post about her and Baby Charley. Two weeks ago, I had the heartwarming experience of meeting him and his wife, whom I now know as Chris and Debbie Karlberg.

Chris never tried to find information about his birth parents, but Debbie did. Her initial attempt to learn their medical history was unsuccessful. A recent search for baby boys born October 21, 1954 in Butte, Montana led her to my post and to the realization that Chris was Baby Charley.

Debbie shared her discovery with Chris and, with his blessing, tracked down my work number and called a few days later. I learned serendipity played a hand when our secretary said a woman had called for me twice that day. We keep our telephone ringers low in the Hellgate High School library and rely on voicemail when we don’t hear the phone. But instead of leaving a message, Debbie fortuitously called again while my two colleagues were out of the library.

Emotions bubbled as Debbie told me about Chris and his “Leave it to Beaver” childhood. I shared the story of the photo and my mom’s concern for Baby Charley, even as dementia began to take hold. I was grateful the circulation desk was quiet throughout our phone call. There were no interruptions nor witnesses as tears puddled in my eyes.

I learned Chris and his adopted sister grew up in Missoula and spent summers at the home their parents built on Flathead Lake. He and Debbie had been happily married for twenty-seven years. He had two bonus sons, and their family had grown to include nine grandchildren. All lived near them. Sadly, his parents and sister had passed away.

Before ending the call, Debbie and I planned for she, Chris and I to get together in the coming days.

My mother was a gracious hostess and always had “hors d’oeuvres” and something sweet at the ready for family and friends. On the cusp of Chris and Debbie’s visit, I felt Mom’s spirit as I arranged brownies and snacks on some of her serving dishes, busying myself to allay my butterflies.

When Debbie and Chris arrived, we exchanged hugs. I escorted them into the kitchen and shared anecdotes about my mom and her dishes. They nodded and smiled, saying their mom had extended similar hospitality.

Coffee and hors d’oeuvres in hand, we settled in at the dining room table. Debbie shared some photos, though said the bulk of their albums had been packed away prior to a remodeling project.

Chris Karlberg, initially called Baby Charley, with his sister, Kay, and mom, Carmen.
Chris, Kay and Carmen Karlberg, 1950’s; Chris Karlberg, 1973

We traded stories, and I learned that Chris’s childhood home–built by his father and grandfather in 1960 and where his parents lived until they passed away–was on West Crestline Drive. Later, his sister lived on East Crestline Drive. My family lived in Missoula from 1955 to 1964, and I returned in 1978. Chris attended first grade at Saint Anthony’s, the year before my two-year tenure there. And when I was young, my family occasionally visited our neighbor’s parents who, unbeknownst to us, lived next door to the Karlbergs. Throughout the past twenty-plus years, I’ve trekked past both Karlberg homes numerous times.

My mom and Chris’s sister shared the nickname, “Kay.” They had the same name, albeit different spelling—Catherine Ann and Kathryn Ann. Chris and Kay’s mom, Carmen, and her friend and neighbor Kay Kress were instrumental in the development of a neighborhood park. Had the opportunity arose, Debbie, Chris and I agreed our moms would have been fast friends.

Chris said he was proud of his name. His grandfather John Karlberg had had a successful contracting business and crafted many beautiful homes in Missoula. His father, Karl, had been a well-respected attorney, and his dad’s legacy lives on in Boone Karlberg. Chris displayed an entrepreneurial spirit from a young age, buying his first Napa Auto Parts store when he was only twenty-one years old.

According to Debbie, meeting Chris was the best thing that had ever happened to her. They have had a full and varied life. Both had stents as EMTs in small Montana towns. In addition, Debbie was an Emergency Services dispatcher, and Chris was a volunteer firefighter and Search and Rescue volunteer who was particularly skilled in underwater rescues.

Currently, Chris and Debbie own six Napa stores. They share a deep love and keep busy with work, caregiving for Debbie’s mom, attending grandchildren’s events and more. The day we met, they had traveled from Polson to Missoula to watch a grandson play in a tennis tournament. I later learned he won his matches.

Chris knew he was born in Butte and adopted as an infant, and he feels love and gratitude for the woman who gave him the gift of life. If she is still alive and would like to connect, he would welcome a reunion. More importantly, he understands that she may want to hold her story in the quiet of her heart.

We took pictures, and I gifted Chris one of the plush throws that had warmed my mom and me when we watched “Jeopardy” and “Wheel of Fortune.” He and Debbie nodded and smiled again when I mentioned our nightly routine. They too are fans of both shows.

Chris and Debbie Karlberg 2024, holding 1954 photo of Kay Antonietti and Baby Charley
Chris and Debbie Karlberg, 2024, holding a 1954 photo of Baby Charley & Kay Antonietti
Chris Karlberg and Karen Buley with a precious, vintage photo and jewelry
Chris Karlberg and Karen Buley with a precious, vintage photo and jewelry, 2024

I also gave them three photos and a copy of my novel Perimenopausal Women with Power Tools, that includes threads of a birth mother, a birth father, a baby, the night sky and more.

Kay Antonietti & Baby Charley, 1954; Kay Parker, 1952;  Kan Antonietti 2021
Kay Antonietti & Baby Charley, 1954; Kay Parker, 1952; Kay Antonietti, 2021

During a phone conversation this evening, Chris shared that his first-grade teacher in 1961-1962 was Sister Mary Martin Joseph. My older brother, who was in Mom’s womb when she cradled Baby Charley, was also in Sister Mary Martin Joseph’s class that year. Over speaker phone, Debbie, Chris and I shared palpable joy as we envisioned an undetectable bond between a classroom mom and a young, redheaded boy. Small world, indeed.

Across the veil that separates this life and the next, I imagine my mother’s sparkling blue eyes and jubilant smile. I believe, after nearly seventy years, she now knows that a special baby has had a wonderful life.

Hoping to gift Kay Antoniett's plush throw to Baby Charley's birth mother one day.
Kay Antonietti often cocooned herself in this plush throw

I’m saving my mom’s maroon throw. Perhaps I’ll have the opportunity to gift it to Baby Charley’s birth mother one day. Regardless, wherever she is, I wish her peace.

Crow

TikTok and Angels

I was energized by a coed book club’s discussion about Perimenopausal Women with Power Tools last month. Our conversation wove around my writing process and the book’s themes and characters. Some readers wished for a map. Others wished for recipes. Two weeks later, I created a TikTok account to share slices of Missoula, recipes and more.

Three days ago, I headed to Memorial Rose Garden Park, hoping to videotape a crow.

A bit of backstory—

My dad’s (misspelled) name, Dan Antonietti, is memorialized there on the Montana State Vietnam Veterans Memorial Committees plaque.

Dad died in January 2017. Months later, family members gathered on Father’s Day in remembrance of our patriarch. As we shared brunch around my mom’s dining room table, a crow perched on the deck railing outside the sliding glass door. “That’s Papa,” I said.

Knives and forks stilled as three generations studied the sleek black bird. He studied us back.

Ever since, I have looked and listened for crows. I’ve asked Papa for signs of support, too. When Mom, a child of the Great Depression, struggled with feelings of guilt about buying a wall-mounted TV and small dining set before downsizing into a senior living apartment, a crow landed atop Best Buy.

Another—or perhaps the same—cawed from a light post outside a furniture shop. “Papa’s saying, ‘Thumbs up, Catherine Ann,'” I said.

Mom looked at me and grinned.

On move-in day, a bittersweet heaviness hung in the air. I begged Papa to let us know he was with us. As Mom and I drove into the parking lot of her new home, a crow settled high atop the flagpole where an American flag rippled in the breeze. I gestured toward the perfect vantage point for our proud, World War II veteran. “There’s Papa,” I managed, the words thick in my throat.

“This is a nice place, Papa,” Mom said. Her blue eyes sparkled when she met my gaze.

I have felt my dad’s presence at other times, too. When I pulled out my cellphone to call Mom on their sixty-third wedding anniversary, the first since Dad died, “MOM…calling” appeared on my cellphone screen before I tapped a single button.

Three weeks later, a document titled “Dad extra” popped open on my computer screen while I was working on my novel. Memories of the question he’d often asked, “How’s your book coming, Sweetheart?” rolled through my mind.

The day I posted a picture of Papa and Gov. Steve Bullock on my blog page, a new tab opened to my website. And as I lay in bed early one morning reading Proof of Angels, a burst of static erupted, then stopped. When the static resumed a minute later, I reached for the clock radio. Unused for years, the radio was on.

So, when I neared Rose Park three days ago, I spoke in the quiet of my heart. I need you, Papa.

Entering the park, I heard Caw Caw Caw.

I didn’t spot him right away.

Caw Caw Caw Caw Caw.

I looked up. There was a crow, perched high in a tree. He stayed there for three minutes, and I posted a bit of him on TikTok the following day.

@kmbuley

#afterlife #spirit #connection #thinveil #loveisforever #fyp #pwwpt #perimenopausalwomenwithpowertools

♬ original sound – Karen Buley

Yesterday, I opened my phone’s camera, selected front-facing video, then propped the phone against a lamp. Instead of hitting the red record button, I moved away to check the screen view. Moments later, my image disappeared and the TikTok video—saved to my Photos app—began to play.

Papa is with me still.

Amy Knutson gourd and Karen Buley mirror

Montana Book Festival 2021

A few months ago, the Montana Book Festival 2021 (MBF) was on tap to offer in-person and online events. Then in August, rising COVID rates in Missoula County compelled the MBF Board of Directors to shift the entire Festival to virtual events.

On Saturday, October 16, China Reevers hosted the Montana Book Festival 2021 conversation with Eileen Garvin and me—“With a Little Help from My Friends: Writing Fictional Friendships.” I loved chatting with Eileen about our books—The Music of Bees and Perimenopausal Women with Power Tools—and the craft of writing. Our respective readings were highlights as well. In addition, the virtual format reached a wider audience, and the event was later uploaded to the Montana Book Festival’s YouTube channel.

Perhaps you didn’t have the opportunity to tune in. Or maybe you did, but you would like to revisit these questions:

Amy Knutson gourd and Karen Buley mirror

How did gourds, mirrors and a tweet shape Perimenopausal Women with Power Tools? What sounds like the parking lot behind the 7-Eleven? What might a budding orthopedic surgeon practice on? How long do honeybees live?

Find out the answers to these questions and more on the video below!

And invite me to visit your book club here.

Missoula : Much to Celebrate.

I was born in Missoula but grew up saying I was from Butte. Birthplace of my parents and older brother, we moved to Butte when I was eight. Roots ran deep. We moved into Mom’s cousin Eleanor’s home, newly vacant following Eleanor’s marriage and relocation to Oregon. We lived blocks from Nana, an aunt, uncle, and cousins. Extended family peppered the city and, on the cusp of third grade, it didn’t take long to embrace Butte as my own.

I’ve been back in Missoula nearly thirty-eight years. The hospital where I took my first breath became the hospital where, as a new nurse, I had to call a wife to tell her that her husband had taken his last. My memory bank overflows with this and other Missoula memories—those forged in my early years and newer ones from 1978 and beyond.

Jon Krakauer’s Missoula and a subsequent Montana Supreme Court hearing thrust the Garden City into the national spotlight. It’s time to give shout-outs to recent Missoula news.

  • Noting our “rugged outdoorsy spirit,” Thrillist named Missoula one of “The Most Hippie Towns In America (That Aren’t Berkeley Or Boulder).” Though I neither drive a Subaru Outback nor own a Labrador retriever, this designation makes me proud.
  • Big Dipper Ice Cream is a “Best Ice Cream Parlor” nominee for USA Today’s 10Best Readers’ Choice Awards. Started in the back of a brewery more than twenty years ago, what’s not to love? Currently number 2 on the leaderboard, you can vote daily here. (Voting ends May 23rd at 10:00 a.m. MST.)
  • In utero blood transfusions—possibly the only successful case in the United States to date—resulted in an early Mother’s Day gift for a Helena mom May 4th. According to Dr. Bardett Fausett, “In little old Missoula, Montana, we’re doing world-class fetal therapy.”
  • Missoula is preparing for another world-class event, too. Our tenth International Choral Festival will welcome thirteen choirs spanning four continents, July 13th-16th. Last festival, Rich and I had the privilege of hosting three lovely Taiwanese singers who still call me “Mom.”

 

Taiwanese singers Rainbow, Amy, & Tiffany at Missoula People's Market 2013.
Rainbow, Amy, & Tiffany at Missoula’s People Market

Pasque Flowers

The Power of Observation

ob·ser·va·tion

(äb-zər-vā’-shən) n. the act, practice, or power of noticing
Webster’s New World Dictionary: Third College Edition

In April, some of my Hellgate High School colleagues and I hiked Blue Mountain in search of wildflowers. Our trek held particular significance as we looked for pasque flowers in memory of two beloved staff members who had passed away in the preceding months.

Darcy, one of our biology teachers, had scouted Missoula’s hillsides days earlier. Though rain threatened and the weather forecast called for scattered thundershowers the afternoon of our scheduled hike, we set out. The delicate purple flowers our attendance clerk extraordinaire, Candice, had loved were in bloom. And we didn’t want to miss them.

Big Sky Country
                                                                           Big Sky Country

Some of us laughed as, battling our way through a swarm of gnats en route to a patch of pasque flowers, we felt Candice’s playful presence.

Pasque Flowers
              Pasque Flowers

Other flowers peppered the mountain for our viewing pleasure, too. Armed with field guides and the experienced eyes of several in attendance, we identified more than fifteen different wildflowers.

Arrowleaf Balsamroot
                    Arrowleaf Balsamroot

Bluebells
                                 Bluebells

Missoula Valley
                                                                          Missoula Valley

Later, after toasting the memories of Candice and Lisa, I marveled again at the observational skills of my fellow hikers as we recalled the names of the various flowers we’d identified. Though several had not yet bloomed, leaves had been clue enough for some of our wildflower sleuths.

The hikes I’ve taken since that afternoon have been with my senses heightened. I’ve spent more time reflecting on the beauty of this place I’ve lived—and often taken for granted—for the past thirty-six years. Hiking in Montana is good for the soul. It’s good for the mind, too, as I discovered in a recent magazine article.

“Pattern recognition is one of my strengths as an investor,” hedge fund founder Renée Haugerud said in the Spring 2014 issue of the Montanan. “I think every lesson in trading you can learn from nature.”

So head for the hills. The flowers of Woods Gulch and elsewhere–trillium, glacier lily, clematis, lady’s slipper, Indian paintbrush, everlasting, columbine and arnica–are calling your name.

Photos courtesy of Lee Brown