I am four-plus weeks into my gig as an essential caregiver for my eighty-nine-year-old mother. Sitting in her dentist’s reception area while my sister scheduled a return appointment, Mom felt “dizzy,” so stood for reasons unknown. Up one moment, down the next, then an ambulance transported her to the hospital because she could not bear weight on her right leg.
She fractured her pelvis in two places. Neither break required surgery, but she was admitted for therapy and pain management. More lucid than not while she was in the Emergency Department (ED), Mom was not granted an essential caregiver beyond the ED due to COVID-19 visitor restrictions. A bed alarm, a video camera, and a room near the nurses’ station superseded having a family member at the bedside.
Three days later, I was allowed into the hospital for discharge instructions. COVID-19 visitor restrictions were in place at Mom’s senior living community too. But administration gave me permission—following a COVID-19 test—to quarantine with her and help with rehab.
Sometimes Mom remembers why we’re roommates in her assisted living apartment. Other times she does not. Some days I’m “Karen.” Other days I’m not.
She had a walker before her fall, but it sat—unused —outside her door. Mom was given a slower, two-wheel walker in the hospital, which she uses in her apartment. Last week she graduated to her four-wheel walker for outdoor treks and walks around the community. But she doesn’t always remember she needs wheels whenever she’s up.
“Who’s the little lady that belongs to that?” she asked days ago, pointing to the two-wheel walker parked beside her dinette table.
“You’re the little lady that belongs to that. Steady Eddie,” I said, resting a hand on her shoulder. “You’re Steady, and this is Eddie.” I patted the walker. “You two are a team.”
“Oh, my,” Mom said with a grin.
This Thanksgiving week, we’ll celebrate what would have been my dad’s ninety-third birthday. And we’ll offer prayers of gratitude for Mom’s continued healing and our sweet bonding time.
Beautiful Karen. You captured the love and compassion between you and your mom. You two are a great pair. Happy Birthday to your dad too!
Thank you, Kathy. I’m so grateful to have this time with my mom. Thanks for the birthday wishes for my dad, too–we talk to his pictures on daily treks around the apartment!
Oh Kare…..this is wonderful!! So happy you can tend to your sweet mama during these trying times! Such a tender, loving experience for you both!!
Tender and loving indeed, Amy. These weeks have rushed memories of your stories about tending to your sweet mama. Picturing her crooning “Getting to Know You” will forever make me smile! Priceless memories…
What a true Blessing! To have each other and to share this precious time with us – such an inspiration! Never having the opportunity to have these days with my mom – simply brings me tears of joy to share this time with you💕 Your sweet mama looks amazing! Love you both!
Bev, I’m so thankful I was welcomed into Mom’s assisted living neighborhood to share this time with her. Every day is a blessing.
Your mom was so young when she died, but I’ll always remember your stories about caring for your sweet dad. He had the best smile! Love you, too.
This is a lovely story of you and your mom. She is adorable. I think you should turn this into a children’s book. So many children don’t have the experience of a multi-generational upbringing and aging is rather a mystery to them. This just warms my heart.
Thanks, Leah. Your “Project Mom” inspired this post. We’re fortunate for Mom Memories we will forever hold dear.
A children’s book is an interesting proposition. Our stories deserve to be shared!
So glad your mom is recovering well. And that you could be there for her. Love your story!
Thanks, Jan!
Karen, your mamma is beautiful. Her sweetness shines through. You know how to wrap these precious moments in love. I am here if you need to talk. Much love, dear one..
Thank you for your tender words, Kathy. I love that you’re a mere phone call away.
The best part of all this, she LOVES you with all her heart – no matter who you might be at any given moment. It is a difficult and challenging job and you are forever in my thoughts and prayers!~
Oh, Marj, as I’ve told you countless times, you are my inspiration as we travel our parallel journeys. Momma Durkin is blessed beyond measure to have you at the helm!
Dear Karen, sharing a part of your journey has brought both tears and fond memories to my mind about my mom, so thank you, and your mom, WOW she is still the “looker” that your dad fell for! I can see you and your mom standing strong together through this time. Hugs to the both of you and take care Linda
Linda, I loved sharing slices of Esther Beanie’s journey with you. Sweet memories and her nickname make me smile!
Mom’s beauty—inside and out—continues to shine. I’m so thankful we’re forging new memories together.